A Year of New Things
I can't tell you how excited I've been lately! Over the past two years I've been thinking hard about what I want to be doing with my life & work, and how fast the years are flying by... In 2023 I started taking more concrete steps in the directions I've dreamed of. It's hard not to feel impatient, and wishing I'd been braver in my 20's and 30s, but I wasn't ready then for what I'm getting ready for now, and we all just have to take this life one day and one season at time.
In moments where I feel too far behind where I wish I was, with too little time ahead of me to ever catch up, I've felt these words impressed on my heart:
Let one thing lead to the next...
Let one thing lead to the next.
So simple, and yet really really hard! It's a tough balance to take brave steps forward, to put yourself out there, to let it be known what you really want, without forcing things, without jumping ahead (but also to be brave enough to say 'yes' when things are right). The more I try to plan & figure things out, the more impossible it seems, yet when I find patience and rest, I find readiness, and that's when doors seem to open. Slowly and surely, one thing IS leading to the next, and it's wonderful. It's definitely a slow process, but I need it to be, if I'm honest. My health has improved a lot, but I'm still trying to build up more stamina and social energy, and I don't want to push too hard and go backwards.
- Last month I taught my very first arts workshop, and next month I'm starting what I hope will be ongoing monthly stitching & wellness workshops!
- I'm currently working on textile pieces for 4 different art shows
- I've applied to join a local gallery as a seller
- I've started writing a book about Larry & Joy's love letters
- I've submitted poetry to two literary magazines (already got one rejection- but I expected that and I plan to keep going!)
- Songwriting has come back into my life in a major way
- I got a fabulous Macomber floor loom (for FREE!) and I'm trying to learn how to use it (I've definitely jumped in way over my head on this one!)
Life is getting busy again, in the best possible ways, and even though it's scary too, all of this is oxygen to my heart, especially after how hard things have been. There will always be ups and downs, but I'm not missing out on this season ahead of me.
I've also had the opportunity to both reconnect & build new friendships with some wonderful women these past months. Sharing and dreaming with other like-minded women is a true blessing! Crazy new dreams are forming in me, dreams of creating community & places of encouragement, dreams of teaching & writing, dreams I haven't even dreamed yet. It all feels so vulnerable, because I know full well that not everyone sees value where I do, or sees me as capable of what I'm aiming for. But (this is the benefit of middle age) the part of me that's always scared is slowly growing less powerful than the part that wants what's beyond the fear. And that feels great.
It's a year of new things, and I'm so thankful.
Recently on social media, I saw a post by an artist whose work I admire. She posted a small drawing illustrating some poetry she wrote. It was lovely, simple, and inspiring. She usually posts textile work, and she prefaced the photo caption by saying something along the lines of, 'oh this is so cringey, I know, but I wanted to try something different, sorry if you don't like it, I know it's not very good...'
I was so sad to read that- and I realized something I think is important. The last thing I ever want to be is pretentious or full of myself or overestimating my talent.... but I never want to say that something I made, something that is valuable to me, something representative of my journey, is worthless or cringey. I don't love everything I've made, and failure is absolutely part of the process, but we shouldn't belittle ourselves for being vulnerable & authentic, ever. The reason her words hit me so hard is what I think she didn't realize- she may have thought she needed to undercut her attempt at trying something new to head off any criticism, or because she was nervous to share it (which we can all relate to!) but by calling it cringey, and no good, she was in effect criticising me for liking it. How often to we put up that kind of invisible wall? Belittling something about us that also serves to add to someone else's self-consciousness? I'd never thought about it that way before, but it's now something I want to remember. I loved what she made, without hesitation, and I told her so. Let's not hide behind self deprecation, because your mediocre first attempt may be a creative goal for someone else; your vulnerability helps the next person feel brave enough to try.
The true joy of creativity is following where it leads, trying the new thing, being mediocre, being real. The creative work of all those who've come before us- the everyday, amateur, unpolished attempts to make life more beautiful, are what makes life beautiful, so don't sell yourself short. Let's not apologize to strangers for being ourselves! Let's go be brave together- and continue to make it safe for everyone else to share their creative hearts.
I hope this can be a year of new things for you, too.
Leah ♥
You are incredible! Watching you walk this path is such an honor and your insight about the journey is inspiring. Thanks for sharing YOU with us!
This makes my heart swell! 💛💛 I’m excited and expectant for you and can’t wait to watch it all unfold.