April 20^th 2023

I recently joined a fiber and textile arts group in my city.  The membership consists of mainly female, experienced, professional and semi-professional artists.  Mature women who take their work seriously and offer their skills and perspective to others. After only two meetings I’m already having a blast meeting new, creative people and learning from artists and craftswomen much more experienced than myself!  I also have the privilege of joining the group’s board this spring, and I feel like I’m all of a sudden being offered a space in a world I’ve so far been too timid to approach. They asked me to write up a short “Meet the Artist” statement for the next group newsletter, and it was the first time I’ve ever written down an explanation of myself as an embroidery artist (and aspiring textile arts historian).  The act of describing myself as an artist- with a specific focus and goals- is VERY new to me!  Yet, as I wrote it, it felt amazing- nudging myself one more step forward into the light of what I deeply want my life to become.

As I’ve taken some brave steps lately (including starting this blog!) I’m finding my creative energy is increasing exponentially, and I’m SO excited for all that’s rattling around in my head.  I’ve had creative surges before, and they’ve always led me to the next thing I needed to learn, but this feels different- larger, more tangible, and much more focused.   I’m 44 years old and I feel like I have my whole artistic life in front of me!  When you’re doing things that bring you life, they seem to bring youth as well!  Remember, it’s never too late to find joy in creativity- whatever that looks like for you.

As I drove home from the fiber & textile arts monthly meeting tonight, I realized I was feeling some after-the-fact anxiety coming from the moment this evening when I had introduced myself to someone as an ‘embroidery artist’ (rather than saying ‘I like to embroider’…)  Anxiety is unfortunately something I’m very familiar with, especially in new situations with new people, but on the drive home I made myself pause in my thinking, and ask myself, as the open highway was getting softly bathed in a perfect April twilight, “WHY”.  Why the anxiety about this momentary conversation?

Was it inappropriate for me to call myself an artist? 

What does it mean to describe myself that way? 

Who decides who gets to use that title and who doesn’t?

For some reason I always worry about coming across as pretentious, worry that if I EVER inflate my skills or experience (even a tiny bit) that I would then be a complete fraud.  I always worry that maybe I’m just pretending I have a chance to be really good at the stitching I love so much. (Hello imposter syndrome?!)  But, as I’ve observed other artists lately, I’ve realized something miraculous…  Artists are artists because they say they are.  Because they take their work seriously and have something to say through what they create. There are, of course, plenty of gatekeepers out there to either validate or tear down that declaration, but true artists just are.  They don’t require permission, and they aren’t waiting around for it.  The line between art and craft is not a clear one, and I won’t attempt to define it.  Far too much art (fiber and textile arts being great examples) have traditionally been excluded from the fine art world, and I’m so excited for all the creators out there who are changing minds (maybe one day I’ll be one of them???).

So, after I wrestled with that anxiety for a few minutes, I looked it in the eye and put it aside.  My brain flipped the script and I realized that I've been asking myself all the wrong questions.  I am allowed to call myself an artist.

I am allowed to call myself an artist.  (One more time…)

 I am allowed to call myself an artist.

I’m starting to believe it, very slowly.  Leah, Embroidery Artist…. I like the sound of that.